Grumpy Website


Some modern cars come with their own "app stores". I've been avoiding them, but recently decided to try one app that's heavily pushed: Aha.

So, they say "your car comes with free Aha service. No explanation as to what it is, but hey, it's free.

Googling leads to a "What is Aha?" page. Great, they actually thought about people who just want to understand what the product is. Let's see →

It's amazing how much non-information this page contains. Several paragraphs of text and I still have no idea what Aha is.

"No matter where you go, you’ll never miss a beat.".

Well, okay, that doesn't mean anything.

"Everything you love on the web. In your car. On your phone. Synchronized, seamless and oh-so-very easy to use."

Everything I love on the web is already on my phone. It's called "the web". Is it a web browser?

"Aha on your phone."

Alright, so...

"The Aha experience starts on your phone with the app. Easily access and organize your favorite content from the web into personalized, live, on-demand stations. Then take them with you wherever you go."

Hmm... so, it's radio stations? Like, music and stuff? I have that already.

"Aha in your car."

Alright, so...

"Once you get the app and organize your stations, Aha syncs the experience to your car. The in-dash, easy-to use interface makes finding everything you love as safe and easy as the turn of a radio dial."

WHAT? What are you trying to say?! What experience? What's "everything I love"?


Please, please, can a human being explain this shit to other humans beings? This page was written by a primitive neural network trying to pass the Turing test with a 5 year old judge damn it.

"Be inspired."

You're not helping.

"Listen to groundbreaking TED Talks from the world's leading thinkers and doers."

I can already do that with the TED app.